March 2016 How long has it been since you’ve been near the ocean’s shore? Are you able to catapult yourself upon the wave of memories to the ocean’s sights and sounds? Can you recall the power of its water wall moving toward you? As it crashed and rushed around your feet, did you feel infinitely small in your humanity?
When I recall my moments on the gorgeous shores of the Pacific Ocean, every memory includes the dual feelings of powerful and powerless.
Just as there can be a very fine line between expressions of emotional rage and intense love, so too is there a fine line between the power and the powerlessness I feel about the ocean’s fury and majesty. Yet, the saving grace of the fine line between the ocean’s fury and majesty is my power of choice.
Therefore, I consciously choose to position myself for optimal enjoyment of the ocean’s power while calculating the risks of my interactions. So, too, it is with the powerful forces of my choices about human interactions.
While I make choices (consciously and subconsciously) all of the time, I must ask, “Do I consciously and wisely choose each of my important life interactions?”
In my response, the ocean reminds me of the power I have in the choices I get to make each day. Some choices inherently carry risks of being injured or horrendously swept away in the powerful fury of the circumstances or relationship dynamics. Still other choices hold the potential of majestically carrying me to amazing places of fulfillment.
Here’s the deal, though: it is easy to forget my choice between living powerfully and powerlessly. When I forget, then I mindlessly surrender my choices to the whims of challenging circumstances, controlling people, and devastating experiences.
With this mindless surrender, I usually reap a powerless outcome. So, my conscious approach to achieving powerful outcomes includes:
- Remembering Principle-Based Truths, in spite of my tendencies to decide by feelings:
Basing my choices on fundamental, foundational truths that never change (like, the principle of gravity) creates the basis for powerful outcomes. With gravity, I know that if I jump then I am coming down. What occurs between the points of leaping and landing depends on many factors. I can rely upon this principled truth.
Likewise, when I live and speak based on principles of truth, then I am not muzzled by claims of who is right and who is wrong. Rather, I get to walk with Fact and Reality – which is always the truth – regardless of what anyone says to the contrary.
This principle-based walk requires me to identify who or what someone or something is. In the process, this includes recognizing the lies I may wrongly (or even conveniently) believe as truth. Ultimately, I have to break-up with every lie in order to embrace principle truths.
Note to Self: Any part of a lie is still a lie, including half-truths. Thankfully, lies cannot masquerade forever as angels of light, even when they proclaim remnants of truth. So, embrace principle-based truths from the beginning – and hold on tight.
2. Purposefully Choosing the Landscape of my Life, in spite of my tendencies to mindlessly trust:
The inner circle of my life is my sanctuary of peace and safety. Therefore, I must not allow into my inner place every noisy creature who chirps.
Mindless admission allows the crowd, rather than the trusted few, to influence my choices. The weight of the crowd will eventually create a crack in the foundation of my better judgement, thus my peace. At times, I might even allow the trusted few to NOT have my best interests at heart. When I do this, I give others a long runway for their unacceptable behavior to negatively impact my life.
For those who are a part of my inner place of trust, I need to regularly re-evaluate and choose based on respectful relationship interactions. This includes not allowing others to choose me without Me, Myself, and I being a part of the ongoing decision. That scenario rarely ends well.
Note to Self: Through the power of choices, create the world you want to look at and live in – each day. And, don’t rush; there is no hurry to make each choice.
3. Practicing Self-Control, in spite of my tendencies to freely speak the truth:
Not everyone wants to hear the truth about themselves or about the circumstances of their lives – even when they ask.
Therefore, I’m learning when and where to bridle my tongue and to reserve any wisdom I may have about the questions others ask of me. Old Man Wisdom says, “Don’t speak your heart to everyone, or many will trample your heart.”
I really need to heed his words of wisdom. Controlling my thoughts allows me to control my actions, which is the essence of self-control. And, I try to bridle my reactions because reactions are rarely powerful actions. Alternatively, it’s my responses that are generally the most powerful actions.
Note to Self: Save the best parts of me for interactions that really matter in eternity. Otherwise, keep silent and enjoy the view.
Wrapping It Up
I can choose to live powerfully or powerlessly. When I choose powerless living, I am allowing myself to become a victim of the control, manipulation, and self-focused behavior of others. The usual outcomes of these behaviors include tension, conflict, and blame.
From my experiences, when the Mr. Blame coat appears there is rarely a truth-based solution. This is because the coat of Mr. Blame has never solved a single problem in the world!
Oh, but when I choose powerful living, I purposefully make a choice within every circumstance, with every person, and amidst every devastating experience. And yes, there is always a way to consciously choose; just like my choices of how to interact with the ocean.
Even when my choices are limited, I can still interact carefully. In limited scenarios, I can still choose my attitude and my responses. Sometimes, the most powerful choice is silence.
Truly, truly, in choosing powerful living I can learn, grow, and live more fully through making principle-based, landscape-creating, self-controlled choices.
Note to Self: I get to powerfully choose my involvement in every situation. It is my life, so I think I will exercise my choices today – and again every day. Sometimes I’ll run, swim, surf, snorkel, or dive. Other times, I’ll stand on the shore and enjoy the view.
Living in the Joys of Life,
Copyright 2016, Devaney Rae, L.L.C. All Rights Reserved.